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Frankly, I’m just as surprised as you are to find Honey Boo Boo, the moon-faced, tiara-topped child star of her own TLC reality show “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” peeking out from the otherwise dignified pixels of CreditCards.com.
What has the world come to when a hyperactive 7-year-old with a raging Red Bull habit can just barge in and start dispensing personal finance advice to hardworking, God-fearing Americans?
Well, this just in: the world has gone crazy, compadres.
As crazy as people who rush home from work to watch other people go to work and hunt swamp reptiles or drive trucks across ice floes or raise 200 pit bulls in their backyard.
As crazy as people who eat live unsalted grub worms on a Third World atoll while Jeff Probst par-sears them with an open flame.
Reality TV crazy. Kardashian crazy.
But I digress. Miss Bo Bo is indeed in the house with a full sippy cup of Go Go Juice and a message we should all heed because otherwise, well, you know how she gets.
It seems that Honey’s mother, June “Mama June” Shannon, and her contractor husband Mike “Sugar Bear” Thompson have broken with reality TV tradition by actually saving their earnings from the show in five trust funds they set up for the kids.
I can just picture their financial adviser’s face. “Yes, we’d like to set up trusts for (deep breath) Alana (“Boo Boo”), her step-sisters Lauryn (“Pumpkin”), Anna (“Chickadee”) and Jessica (“Chubbs”) and Mama June’s granddaughter Kaitlyn (stage name TBD).”
The family reportedly earns between $15,000 and $20,000 per episode and the girls can’t touch the trust funds until they turn 21 unless it’s for a school or a medical emergency, according to Barron’s. (Naw, I was just messing with you; TMZ actually got that scoop.)
But here’s the thing: this country family from McIntyre, Ga., the butt of late-night comedians and sober-minded sociologists alike, could actually teach America a thing or two about managing money.
According to reports, the family still resides in its pre-stardom home. They live within the means of father Mike’s construction work. The last vehicle they bought was a truck in 2005. Mama June clips coupons and helps keep food on the table with child-support checks from four fathers.
And Mama June and Sugar Bear earn extra props for having TLC deposit the reality cash directly into the trust accounts with an email alert to confirm the amounts. That takes a load of temptation off the table.
Sure, Honey Boo Boo and family know full well that much of America laughs at them, not with them.
But the reality is, this is one American family that’s laughing all the way to the bank — and keeping it there.