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Sid Vicious ponders Sex Pistols’ revival on a credit card

Jay MacDonald

Note: Upon hearing that the UK’s Virgin Money bank had decided to illustrate new credit cards with old Sex Pistol record covers, blogger Jay MacDonald was suddenly seized by the spirit of the punk band’s late guitarist, Sid Vicious, and he scrawled the following:

Oi! Sid Vicious here, back at yer beck and call!

I know, I know: Yer probably thought you’d seen the last of me, just cuz I slipped off the old sod way back in ’79.

Well, I’m back — at least in vinyl form — thanks to me longtime mate, Sir Richard bloody Branson.

See, me ‘n’ him go way back to when he had the good sense to ignore bad advice and invite me band the Sex Pistols to record on his Virgin record label. None of us could sing or play for shite but we made him a bloody gazillionaire by bashing the rich and royals on our one and only album, “Never Mind the Bollocks, Here’s the Sex Pistols.” Truth in advertising, that’s wot that was!

bollocks.jpg

Sir Richard’s been on a bleedin’ tear ever since, hasn’t ‘e? Wot with starting up his Virgin Airlines and that Galactic space shuttle. He’s even opened his own Virgin Money bank.

That’s wot brings me ’round. Seems the sly old dodger is payin’ us punkers back in his way by launching a bloody set of Sex Pistols credit cards with the artwork from our 1977 album and our hit single love letter to the Queen, “Anarchy in the U.K.”

Now I know I may have given some of you yobs the impression over the course of my brief musical career that I’m anti-this and anti-that, wot with saying bollocks like, “Undermine their pompous authority, reject their moral standards, make anarchy and disorder your trademarks.” Or “Cause as much chaos and disruption as possible but don’t let them take you ALIVE.” We even bashed mass consumerism with that “Anarchy in the U.K.” line, “Your future dream is a shopping scheme.” Won’t see that inscribed on the ol’ Pistols card, will we, Johnny?!

anarchy.jpg

But the truth is, I just never had a head for maths. Where were Euros when I needed them? Settle a bar tab anyway possible was me motto.

No doubt some old geezes will be miffed to see the spirit of punk back in fashion, especially with Sir Richard’s blessing. Say this for ‘im: at least he had the good taste to keep actual images of Lydon’s bug-eyed Johnny Rotten glare and me patented snarly sneers off the chits. That really woulda put off the grannies, wot?

And full props to Virgin Money’s card director Michele Greene for defending the Pistols chits:

“It’s time for consumers to put a little bit of rebellion in their pocket. In launching these cards, we wanted to celebrate Virgin’s heritage and difference. The Sex Pistols challenged convention and the established ways of thinking — just as we are doing today in our quest to shake up UK banking.”

Right said, Michele! Ask me, packing a credit card with ‘bollocks’ printed right there in the Queen’s English should blow some dust off the ol’ National Trust checkout counters. They apparently come with an 18.9 percent APR, wotever that is.

Nice to be back. Enjoy the anarchy card. “We mean it, maaan.”

Sneers,

Sid

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